Finally here comes my night. Night alone with words.
The only way which am with my own self. It has been a long time since I buried myself in such silence night with the embrace of music. Some living things who follow my blogs may know it.
So everything is eventually saturated as the departure day is just a day away from me.
Summarizing up what have I gained in this almost-two-months long break, I would say that everything is about learning.
This is a slightly different holiday to me. Slightly relaxed as I have just retired from the positions in Uni. Its the moment to witness the performances of juniors who handed over my batons.So my friends here almost pulled my ears and asked: Why are you going back so early again this time? Are you seriously involved in the Uni events again?
Yes I am. Should I hashtag MAP here? No. I dont. You dont make noises before you work, even after you work.
Work in silence, let your success be your noise.
You learn in everything. Started my holiday with my third part time job as a tuition teacher. Back to origin. You dont say much, you do. So I have completed another " training" for two months. Leveled up. Thanks to the kids, they taught me a lot. A lot. Everyday is lethargic but fruitful, well you know how much you could do for these kids, unlimited. I want them to learn every single fragments in daily life which, might be missed out by their parents. I did what am passionate in.
So on the second month, my aunt sent me a Whats-app message, asking me if I could teach in Sis' centre in KL before I am back to Uni. It was a real short notice and I was not able to help out. Well you know, you are carrying many planning and mission, as a daughter. A companion to mom, a final year student to the supervisor, an employee to an employer, a teacher to the kids,a patient to the dental doctor and returner to the nature. You just, have to be well-planned. Everything.
Look, you need to be well-planned. And you observe, everything, everyone. Even you are blind.
Well, what make you change?
First, you have learnt enough to be what you want to.
Second, you have been hurt enough that you have to.
You may wonder why and why is this life has been in what way to you. Stop lamenting.
So the UPU result was released a week ago. Not surprisingly, many juniors of mine contacted me like they used to be.
Every single sigh and question is familiar and so understandable. Dear sisters brothers, this is the beginning. You can be successful, wherever you are, Harvard or the shabbiest Uni in local.
You can, when you want to.
This is not bullshitting, but what I have learnt in my two years time on another beautiful earth and my beautiful Anthropology and Sociology course.
Of course, I would hold on my cliche, I shouldn't be where I am now, you know what I mean. But I respect my choice and am doing my choice a respect until today. And my achievements make some noise. Learning.
Looking back at my cheek, well it is the final year of mine. Flipping over the proposal of my thesis and opening up all the mind maps in my mind, you know everything is on the run. Tonnes of things happened over the past months, regardless on the family, self or the country outside there. You know life is just a blow of thin air,fragile but essential. Come again, Essential.
Things just happen to be happened.Some are shitty some are just fine. You cant tame everyone.
Confessions, talks, words, promises are no longer trustworthy, you gonna learn. So everything makes you ponder. Tragedies happened, and people went away. The only thing you should do is Think. Think and do.
Like I said, I have interacted with various kind of kids. Gifted to be the last child in my family, it does not deprive my understanding on them but I have been attempting to give my knowledge to them. One single thing I have learn from them is True. Children are true indeed. But dont, dont expect True in your daily life. It turns out to be a different thing. You dont tell me how much you appreciate, or you needed. Sarcasm takes place instead. Be true, if you want to be treated the same way.
Do your obligation will do. Spend less time on some less nutritious thingy. Learn. Well I know this is subjective. But there are so many buts in life. You just have to observe and ask. Like what I asked myself this morning, why do we need the Humanitarian Action to make certain restriction on wars. You just cant answer. Like I used to ask myself while I was a kid, why people are selfish and self-centered? I stop questioning myself when I know, there is no answer for this question. You just can be somebody else.
Do your job. Be a human and talk less. Money and words cant buy eternal hearts. You dont love people for nothing. And,your dont earn respect for nothing.
Talk with your eyes, the eyes of your heart.
The tragedies taught me so much. Have you learnt ?
The souls are at peace, today 22nd August 2014, on our motherland.
We mourned and we pray everyday. All God take care of the rest.